hidan's diary
by white-winter-wolf
Summary: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! rated T for words tobi dosen't like to hear and some other stuff
1. period

**I showed my brother this and he was laughing for like 5 minutes…how weird. Since he loves hidan I made this for him.**

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The Akatsuki where going on there normal business, reading, arguing, exploding, killing. Hidan and kakuzu were on a mission selling popcorn and won't be back for weeks. Tobi came in the lounge room caring a pink fluffy book. "What's that tobi? You're dairy?" deidara laughed historically.

"This book isn't tobi's, tobi found it under hidan-san's pillow" tobi said with a smile under his mask.

"That's weird… bibles aren't pink and fluffy…" itachi interrupted the conversation

"Open it then" kisame shouted

"Yer tobi open it" deidara agreed

"What if tobi gets in trouble? What if hidan-sun summons Godzilla?" tobi said worried

"His religion probably doesn't believe in Godzilla" zetsu said as he walked in

"Good let's open it then" deidara said

"But sempai tobi is a good boy" tobi said "and what if hidan-san summoned out mecha-Godzoilla?"

"Tobi! Shut up before I nock you in to next week" deidara shouted over poor tobi

"Now lets open it" itachi said

**Diary of hidan**

**Wensday 22 Sep 2007**

**Dear lovely dovely dairy,**

**Today my lovely dovely period started**

**From princess hidan**

"ha! Hidan can't spell wendesday!" deidara started rolling around on the floor

"What's a per-i-od?" tobi asked. Deidara stoped laughing and changed his smile into a worried look.

"Period?" the rest looked at tobi sweating

"Well tobi…" deidara said shaking "it means…"

"Every month or so a woman's body will get rid of UN wanted blood using tampons, to-"

"That's enough itachi!" kisame said angrily

"Dude how do you know all this stuff?" zetsu asked

"Huh? Umm…well I watched a weasel documentary…yer that's right" itachi said with sweat coming down his face.

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**What do ya think? **

**Review if you want to read more of hidan's diary **


	2. the girl in the cupbord

**Ok thanks for reviews I'm glad you liked this**

**Forgot to tell ya! I don't own Naruto, Akatsuki, Hidan, pokemon or pizza hut**

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(The next day)

"Deidara-sempai!" Tobi ran in screaming "What dose period mean again?!"

"TOBI SHUT UP!" pein scolded as the rest looked in to the book of hidan

**Dairy of hidan**

**Dear dairy,**

**Thurseday 23 Sep 2007**

**I locked Konan in the cupboard **

**By princess hidan-sama**

"…wait…that means that" the leader walked over to the cupboard and knocked

"You have to knock with style these days" kisame told the leader who started kicking the door "Wemen these days like stuff like that." Every one was looking at the blue man surprised.

"Ok…uhhhhh…lets knock the door in style…" deidara blew the door up and one chunk of it hit itachi in the head, he fell out the window and landed in the bush out side. Kisame was so shocked he didn't notice hidan and kakuzu coming back and hit hidan with his big fat hand witch made Hidan's head fall out of the window.

"thump!"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" they herd itachi screaming

They looked into the blown up cupboard to see a blue haired girl nearly dead.

"NOOOO!" tobi cried "DEIDARA-SEMPAI KILLED JAMES!"

"Aghhh! I hate pokemon" pein yelled angrily

"But you are the person who tried to kidnap stupid tailed beasts" Zetsu reminded

"Shut up…" pein mumbled. Then a bunch of paper came past every one and nearly made them bleed to death with paper cuts

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!" tobi ran over crying to deidara nocking him down on the floor "t-tobi's th-thumbs bleeding" still crying "TOBI GOT AN OUCHI WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GET THE HELL OF ME!" deidara pulled tobi of him and looked at Konan who looked pissed.

"FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED MWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

So the Akatsuki ordered 12 boxes of pizza that day. Deidara, pein, kisame, tobi and kakuzu had one piece, Zetsu had four and Konan had the rest. Hidan still doesn't know that the Akatsuki read his dairy because he's still out side with itachi.

**To be continued…**

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**Keep reviewing and I might make more **


	3. orochimaru's secret

**So…you like?**

**Me not own naruto YET!!**

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"Itachi!" kisame said knocking the door loudly "We have to go shopping!"

Itachi pulled open the door looking worried. "lets go-" kisame was pulled back by itachi grabbing his collar (you know that neck thingy).

"Read this" Itachi's voice was trembling

**Hidan's Diary **

**Dear dairy,**

**Friday 26 Sep 2007**

**Today was orochimaru's 5****th**** anniversary of telling me he stashes pictures of sasuke in his room. What the**

**By TOTALLY AWSOME princess hidan-hime**

"kisame do you know what this means?" itachi asked kisame

"he thinks sasuke's food" kisame said stupidly "hey you know what? I really think we should go shopping and buy some sasuke for dinner today it is my turn to cook"

"Finally!" itachi sneaked out the door wile kisame started eating his furniture "note to self, mangekyou sharingan to kisame later"

itachi walked towards Orochimaru's old room. Thinking about it Itachi's never been in his room before. Wile he was thinking what it was going to look like itachi finally reached orochimaru's room. Holding the handle itachi threw the door open.

"AGGGGGGGHH!!!!" kisame yelled as he ran out of the Akatsuki hide out.

**The very evil shopping list for the Akatsuki people**

**Pein:**

**Food **

**Drinks **

**And a whole lot of evil things **

**Kakuzu: **

**The bank**

**Zetsu:**

**345678943456789 pounds of meat**

**Itachi: **

**Dove Shampoo **

**And some dog food**

**Konan: **

**Nothing**

**Hidan:**

**Tampons**

Some hours later the Akatsuki found itachi locked in orochimaru's room unconscious and with a LOT of sasuke pictures (conserved) witch made every one think of itachi very differently and kisame was still not to be found

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**What do ya think? **

**I'm running out of ideas (TT – TT) plz help**


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